Traumatizing Facts about Darcy
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: 'Darcy Stark' Series. The story of how each of the Avengers, plus Coulson and Jane, came to find out that Tony had a daughter. AU of 'More-Than-She-Seems'. Check out the Authors note inside for details.
1. Darcy Arrives Home

**So this is a piece related to a random series I started due to my brain going off on a tangent while working on 'More-Than-She-Seems'. Because it struck me as funny and a good potential routing point for any additional insanity, I've started some work on it. However, much like my prompt pieces, the series itself is slow-going. I am still writing all the others but my brain is pin-balling around like a speed-hyped rabbit shot from a cannon so it's not the easiest thing to keep track of. **

**Anyway, moving on.**

**The only thing you really need to know in order to read this without reading anything else is that Tony actually got the call about Darcy being born so instead of being put up for adoption (as happened in More-Than-She-Seems), Tony was able to claim paternal guardianship and raise her. With Pepper's help of course (because really, the idea of Tony raising a baby alone is just scary).**

**This is an AU version of More-Than-She-Seems, so those of you who've read that stuff know how I portray Darcy. She's more sarcastic and mischievous in this, but not too different otherwise. Also, Loki and Dani exist in a different context here (they exist but the relationship between them and Darcy is a little different). Darcy is 20 in this particular story.**

**If you guys have any more questions, let me know. And the next stuff to pop up will hopefully be for 'More-Than-She-Seems'. Depending on the popularity of this piece, I might through the others up here as well. Opinions are always welcome.**

**- Illusinia**

* * *

Darcy jiggled the handle on the door a little while balancing the Chinese food she'd brought home for her and Tony. However, her struggle came to an abrupt end when the door swung open courtesy of Jarvis. "Thanks Jarvis."

"You're welcome Darcy," replied Jarvis in his normal spiffy accent. "Did you have a good end of the semester?"

"Eh," shrugged Darcy as she set her bags by the door and repositioned her food. "Could have been worse. Do you know where Dad is?"

"You're father is in his workshop," replied Jarvis primly. "Would you like me to contact him?"

Darcy shook her head. "Nah, I want to surprise him. He doesn't think I'm coming back for two more days."

"You _are_ home earlier than expected," agreed Jarvis. "Are you certain nothing has happened?"

"Like I said, I'm good," promised Darcy. "Just took my finals early so I could get home quicker. There was no reason why I should have to wait until the end of the damn week to take something that wouldn't change between now and then."

She thought Jarvis may have sighed but ignored it. "Alright, I'm going down to see Dad."

"Would you like me to have your luggage taken to your room?" offered Jarvis.

Darcy shrugged. "I was just gonna throw it in the elevator, but if you want to be my guest. Dad give you an upgrade?"

"Indeed," admitted Jarvis somewhat gleefully.

"Sweet," replied Darcy with a grin as she pulled out her phone and hit a few buttons. "You'll have to show it off to Josie. She should be online now. Josie?"

"Yeah Darcy?" asked a female voice in a southwestern accent.

"Awesome," replied Darcy as she slipped her phone away. "I just wanted to see if you were running okay. Jarvis has a new trick to show you and I'm gonna go see Dad. Catch you both later."

"Later Darcy," replied Josie at the same time Jarvis gave her a 'Have a good evening Darcy'.

Darcy just waved and disappeared down the steps that lead to Tony's workshop. Peering through the door, she could see the usual scattered mess that covered the floor. Tony was bent over a table near the back, playing with his welding iron. She could see the sparks from there. She could also hear the heavy rock/metal music that Tony liked to play while he worked. Apparently, he'd been intending to pull a long night.

Keying open the doors with her pass code, she strode into her father's sanctuary and carefully stood behind him. When he'd set the iron aside, she reached over to tap him on the shoulder, giggling when he jumped and giving him a little wave.

"Shit! Jarvis, turn off the music!" exclaimed Tony. The music shut off immediately and then Tony was pulling Darcy into a strong hug.

"Darce! What are you doing home so early?" asked Tony as he released her enough that he could look at her. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine Dad," assured Darcy with a roll of her eyes. "I just took a few finals early so I could get out of there. Geez, I swear, you and Jarvis both worry too much."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," joked Tony as he pulled another stool out for Darcy to take, which she did while handing him a large carton of chow mien. Her own carton of fried rice appeared in hand just as quickly along with chop sticks. Tony fished his own out of somewhere and started digging in with Darcy.

It was quiet for a few minutes, both eating and not really wanting to talk. Darcy could feel her dad's eyes on her, notably her face. She knew she looked bone tired and she was, but that wasn't going to stop her from spending some time with Tony.

"So what's been going on since I left?" asked Darcy curiously. "I mean, I know about the superhero team and all that, but what else?"

Tony shrugged as he dug a piece of chicken out of his noodles. "Eh, pretty much the normal. We got a bunch of new contracts that I'm working on right now and I've been sketching up some upgrades to my suit but nothing exciting. How was the end of your semester?"

"Boring," admitted Darcy with a roll of her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I get why Mom encouraged me to get that political science degree. If something ever happened to her I feel like I could at least deal with the outside contractors and lobby groups, as well as the PR crap she's constantly juggling, but it wasn't that interesting. I mean, the concepts and all that were cool, but the tests and study material was trivial and repetitious."

"Sounds about right," agreed Tony with a grin. "That's why I let Pep handle all that stuff." He took another bite before speaking. "Any plans to go back again?"

Darcy shrugged. "Maybe, but I think I'd like to come work with you again for a bit. Maybe get a physics or math degree on the side. Its not like I have to do any GE's again."

Tony nodded and set aside his container. "You're welcome back any time Darce. You know I don't mind having you work with me on stuff or just for Stark Industries in general. Hell, if you want to look into getting most of the stuff you've already built patented, we can do that too."

"Maybe," confirmed Darcy with a yawn. "That would probably be a good idea, though I think Mom already got a lot of that stuff done years ago."

"Probably," admitted Tony as he stood. "However, we can talk about that in the morning. Lets get you to bed, you like you haven't slept in days."

Darcy sighed but stood with Tony. "But Dad, I wanted to spend some time with you."

"Again, an activity we can do in the morning," insisted Tony. "C'mon champ, you seriously look dead on your feet. Have you been sleeping? Not up late having sex every night, right?"

"No Dad," assured Darcy with a roll of her eyes. Pausing, she checked her watch. "Huh, I guess it has been almost 66 hours since I last slept."

"66-," sputtered Tony. "Darcy! What the hell were you thinking?"

Darcy looked away sheepishly. "I just had some trouble sleeping, that's all."

"Darce," groaned Tony as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Going to bed two or three hours after you've laid down is having trouble sleeping. 66 hours without sleep is intentional." Sighing, he drew his daughter into a hug. "What happened."

"I might have had a nightmare," admitted Darcy sheepishly, face pressed against his shirt.

"About...?" prompted Tony as patiently as he could.

It was a moment before he heard Darcy whisper 'you dieing'. Tony winced and hugged her tighter. "Oh Darce...how long have you been having this one?"

"Since you got kidnapped," admitted Darcy with a bit of a sniff. "But in the dream, the terrorists always kill you and all we get back is your body and-" Her voice broke at that point, along with a few traitorous tears which ran down her face.

Tony held her tighter. "Hey, don't cry Darce. I'm here and I'm alive. No one is going to change that. I won't let them."

"Dad..." whispered Darcy, her voice sounding so much like it had when she was younger and had a bad dream that it broke Tony's heart. "Dad, I know I haven't done this since I was really little, but could I sleep in your room tonight?"

"Of course Darce," replied Tony immediately. "You can sleep anywhere in this house that you like. You know that."

Darcy pulled back a little, eyes still watery but there was the beginnings of a smile on her lips. "Even naked on the kitchen table?"

"Hey, I only did that _once_ thank you and Pepper almost had my balls for it," reminded Tony with a grin. "Plus, the _only_ reason you know about that is that Jarvis is a traitor so I don't think that qualifies as sufficient reasoning for being allowed to do it."

"I'm pretty sure Mom's rule is that clothes can only be off in bedrooms and the bathroom anyway," sighed Darcy.

"Yeah, she did make that rule after that incident, didn't she?" recalled Tony with a hmm. "I'll have to remember to post that with the house rules. Oh, random point, there are other people living here now."

"The Avengers?" guessed Darcy with a grin. "Jarvis already warned me. Well, he told Josie who told me, but its the same idea."

Tony rolled his eyes and muttered something to the extent of 'of course he did' but started walking out of the room with Darcy anyway. "I'll introduce you in the morning. That way you'll know who everyone is."

"No, don't!" insisted Darcy, a mischievous smirk forming. "I want to see how long it takes them to make the connection _without_ us saying anything."

"Uh, not long," pointed out Tony. "Pepper will be here tomorrow and she won't let you play this game."

"Sure she will," replied Darcy with a casual wave of her hand. "Mom lets me play non-harmful jokes on people. Besides, telling people I'm your daughter tends to be temporarily harmful to their mental health, so Mom will totally agree."

Tony shook his head as they made their way into the elevator leading to the residential floor. "You have some strange logic Darce."

"No, its just so advanced that you can't keep up," replied Darcy with a grin, laughing as her father reached out to tickle her in response.


	2. Victim 1: Clint Barton

Victim 1: Clint Barton

Clint growled slightly as he stalked through the hallways of the Avengers Mansion. Coulson had sent him a text message requesting that he, quote, 'Make sure Stark's ass is up and ready for the meeting this morning. That's an order'. Just the memory made him scowl. He wasn't a secretary, hotel clerk, or personal assistant to Tony Stark damnit! The last was Pepper's job!

Growl on the tip of his tongue, Clint stopped in front of Tony's room and banged on the door. Loudly. "Stark! Get your ass up! You have a mee-"

Clint's rather hostile message was cut off suddenly as the door flew open to reveal a very pissed off brunette that made his heart both beat faster and sink. The scowl on her face told him that he was in trouble though, and even without being able to look over her glasses she was intimidating. He couldn't see any sign of her taser but that didn't mean she was unarmed, which was perhaps more frightening than anything else. However, before he could even begin to apologize, she tore into him. Badly.

"Look dickwad, I don't know where the _fuck_ you get off _banging on random doors at ass o'clock in the morning_ but if you _ever_ do that again to _any_ door I'm sleeping behind, you will be wearing your internal organs externally _and_ you will still be alive. Clear?"

The door was slammed in Clint's face before he could respond, but one fact was spinning through his head that made it hard to focus on anything else. The woman he had been looking for, the girl he'd wanted to see again since he slept with her in New Mexico, just came out of Tony Fucking Stark's bedroom. Fuck.

* * *

Clint was moping in the kitchen when Tony made an appearance half an hour after the bedroom door incident. Seeing the billionaire genius come into the kitchen just made him mope harder. Tony was oblivious, until he turned to face the scowling archer.

"What crawled up your ass Hawkeye?" asked Tony with a smirk, coffee in hand. "'Tasha not put out last night?"

Hawkeye stood up suddenly, glaring at Stark angrily. "No, you just stuck your dick where it didn't belong, again!"

Tony raised a casual eyebrow, eying Clint. "Uh, run that by me again?"

"You. Slept. With. The. Girl. I. Was. Looking. For." Clint's scowl was more of a pout by the time he was done, but he didn't care. "And don't deny it, she opened your bedroom door this morning."

"You slept with the girl in my room?" asked Tony slowly, voice carefully neutral. "When?"

Clint's scowl returned full force. "New Mexico, after the Thor event. She's young enough to be you're daughter, you know."

"I know," growled Tony. "She's too young for you, too."

"Like you can say anything," muttered Clint just as Pepper walked into the room.

Her eyes darted between both men, noting the glaring contest they seemed to be having before pouring herself a cup of coffee and rinsing out the empty pot. "Should I ask what happened or simply walk away?"

"Tony slept with the girl I've been looking for," growled Clint, leaning on the counter to glare hard at Tony. "She's almost half his age!"

Pepper raised an eyebrow and turned towards Tony. "Tony?"

Tony snorted and took a gulp of his coffee. "He slept with Darcy, Pep."

The shocked look that slid over Pepper's face turned to murder less than a second later, complete with scowl o'death and laser glare. She looked ready to tear into him. For that matter so did Tony. Somehow, Clint felt he was missing something very important. Before he could do anything, however, Darcy came stumbling into the room, muttering something about rude people banging on doors.

"Morning Mom, morning Dad," yawned Darcy as she walked straight for the coffee maker then the cupboard when she realized the former was devoid of caffine-giving substances. "Do we still have any of that coffee I like? The stuff that looks like motor oil but tastes like heaven?"

"Bottom shelf," replied Tony mildly, "it should be next to the filters."

Darcy nodded and fished out exactly what she was looking for, giving Clint a view he would have appreciated if his brain were currently working. It had stopped around the time that Darcy had referred to Pepper and Tony as 'mom' and 'dad'. The pieces were falling together, but the resulting picture was making Clint's brain hurt. Well, shut down really because, seriously, there was no damn way that he heard that correctly. None. Zero. Zip. But then, why would Darcy's preferred coffee be at Tony's house and how would Tony even know what her preferred coffee _was_ unless he interacted with her regularly. And had for a long time. A faint throbbing against Clint's forehead made him groan in pain.

Glancing away from the coffee maker at the noise, and seeming to realize for the first time that there was someone else in the room, Darcy stared at Clint, head cocked to one side in concentration. Her brow furrowed slightly in a way that reminded Clint a bit of Pepper when she was thinking hard and one of her hands came up to run through her hair as Tony tended to do when frustrated. However, less than five seconds later, her eyes lit up and she pointed at him casually, leaning forward so she could stare at him over the kitchen island with a smirk. "I know you."

"Yes, you do," confirmed Clint, a little uneasy with the way Tony and Pepper were glaring at him.

Darcy nodded and stood up to stretch. "Yeah, I slept with you in New Mexico after that whole 'Thor being banished to Earth' thing." Her neck popped and she sighed happily. "That was fun actually. I meant to grab your digits but completely forgot when Mom text-ed me about something stupid Dad had done. If you want to do that again though, give me a heads up."

"Darcy Tonya Potts-Stark-Lewis!" shouted Tony unhappily. "No, you won't!"

"Huh?" asked Darcy as she turned to blink at Tony, confusion written across her face. Hearing Darcy's full name spelled out nearly sent Clint to the floor. His brain just couldn't seem to process what his ears were telling him.

"You won't sleep with him again!" exclaimed Tony.

Darcy blinked at him again, the confusion furrowing her brow. "Why? The man's good in bed and I'm over 18 so its not illegal."

The not-illegal part was a relief to hear for Clint. He'd been a little worried when it didn't seem like she was drinking the night they slept together. Not enough to turn her down of course.

"Darcy, the man is almost twelve years older than you!" snapped Tony, arms crossed and scowl firmly in place.

Darcy's own eyes narrowed at him, a scowl forming on her face as well. "So? What does it matter? You've slept with girls who are almost _my_ age and you're 44! Besides, why do you care who I sleep with? I've always kept my nose out of your bed and I'd hope you'd do the same."

"I've also never slept with someone you work with," pointed out Tony, eyes still narrowed. Pepper had moved around the counter to sit with Clint, apparently opting to stay out of this spat.

"Oh, that's what this is about?" growled Darcy. "That you work with him? News flash Dad, you've slept with some of your _own_ people so don't give me that bull. I don't know what you're problem is, but you don't have any right to poke at _my_ sex life."

"Yeah, I do," snapped back Tony. "I'm your father. Last I checked, that gives me the right to have some say in your life."

"Maybe before I was 18!" exclaimed Darcy angrily. "I'm 20 now, 21 next month, and I'll thank you to treat me like that rather than as the 16 year old I was when I went to college!"

Clint really did fall off his stool at that, but managed to right himself with Pepper's assistance. Her own expression was bland, as if she'd witnessed fights like this before and was merely waiting for the inevitable conclusion.

"Well, if you want to be treated like a 20 year old, act like one!" shouted Tony, apparently finally pissed enough for them to start a yelling match.

"I try to but its kinda hard when my dad still acts like a teenager!" yelled Darcy, arms thrown in the air as she grabbed her coffee and stomped out of the room.

Tony stormed out in the opposite direction, slamming the door behind him as he went. Clint winced when the wooden door struck its frame but Pepper showed no reaction at all. Several seconds passed in silence as the kitchen's remaining occupants listened to Darcy and Tony storming off to where-ever they were going. No one said anything until neither individual could be heard any longer.

"Uh, is that normal?" asked Clint uneasily, turning to face Pepper. He didn't relish the idea of being alone with the frightening CEO, but the fight had been nasty enough that he was afraid there could be irreparable harm.

"I wouldn't say normal," replied Pepper calmly as she stood again. "But it does happen every once in a while. Tony and Darcy are very much alike, so occasionally they'll explode at each other in brilliant form, avoid each other for days, then finally break down and apologize." One of Pepper's hands came to rest on Clint's shoulder. "For the record Agent Barton, that fight wasn't about you. Tony doesn't actually care that you've slept with Darcy, though he may have a talk with you later about what could happen if you choose to take Darcy up on her offer and she gets hurt. Or pregnant."

Clint shuddered a little at the thought of having a talk with _Tony_ of all people about something like that. "Thanks for the warning. So then what was the fight really about?"

Pepper chuckled and shook her head. "Don't worry, Tony isn't allowed to hang people off the edge of the Empire State Building in his suit anymore and I'm relatively certain that Director Fury would murder him if he tried it. Or at least imprison him. As for the fight's origins, I'd guess it has to do with Tony's roll in the Avengers or his admitting to actually being Iron Man. Both have caused some tension between them."

"Darcy doesn't like that Tony's saving the world?" asked Clint, surprised Darcy would have an issue with it. What kid doesn't want their dad to be a super hero after all?

"Not particularly," admitted Pepper with a sigh. "After Tony was kidnapped, Darcy was a mess. She thought she'd lost her father and, even though she still had me, I think the idea of loosing both of her biological parents is frightening for Darcy, even if she claims that blood has nothing to do with family."

Both of Clint's eyebrows shot to his hairline. "Loosing both of her biological parents? Aren't you her mother? I thought she called you 'Mom' earlier."

"She did," confirmed Pepper as she picked up her coffee cup and refilled it. "Technically speaking, I'm Darcy's mother but only in writing. I have no biological connection to her."

"Huh," muttered Clint, mind attempting to wrap around this new piece of information. Somehow, knowing that Pepper hadn't given birth to Darcy made the whole situation a little easier to swallow. Not by much though. He was still uneasy about having slept with Tony's daughter, even though it was only because of what Tony might do to him for that.

Pepper smiled and patted him on the back. "Don't worry, you get used to the idea. It took me some time as well, when I first found out."

"When was that?" asked Clint, eyes locking onto the CEO as she turned to leave the room.

"When she was born," replied Pepper with a shrug. "Darcy's workshop is under the east wing of the building in the basement. She's supposed to go to lunch with me in a few hours, but if you seek her out this afternoon she should be in a better mood. And really, don't worry about Tony. He won't kill you for sleeping with her. I won't let him."

"Thanks," sighed Clint as he leaned back, then banged his head on the counter gently. What the hell had he gotten himself into?


	3. Victim 2: Phil Coulson

**Just a warning on this chapter, Coulson is a dick to Darcy and Darcy is a bitch to Coulson because of what happened with Jane. They haven't interacted since Coulson stole their equipment (he wasn't there when it was returned) and he never dealt with Darcy when he came by the lab to talk with Jane. Thus, Darcy doesn't like Coulson at all. Sorry Coulson fans. This relationship will probably change later in other pieces from this series.**

* * *

Victim 2: Coulson

Agent Phillip Coulson prided himself on his professionalism and ability to hold it together under any circumstances, including when gods started falling from the sky. Dealing with Tony Stark required a bit more effort and quite a bit more preparation than most, but Coulson was more than capable of doing so. Assuming nothing caught him by surprise of course, but that in and of itself was nearly impossible. He was like a deadly boy scout, always prepared.

Unfortunately, when dealing with Tony Stark, one should never assume they are prepared. A fact which Coulson found out the hard way. Still, as he approached the front door to Stark Mansion and rang the bell for the front door, nothing could have prepared him for the conversation he was about to have.

* * *

Darcy was just passing into the living room when the doorbell sounded, causing her to shift directions as gracefully as one could while balancing a tablet and a cup of coffee. Her own cup had been drained hours ago but the coffee pot which had previously been stationed in her workshop was missing for reasons she couldn't fathom. Josie, her personal AI and the counterpart of Jarvis, swears Darcy deconstructed the coffee pot before she left for spare parts despite Darcy's protests that coffee pots were sacred objects. Regardless of the reason, however, a key tool in her personal coffee supply was missing, thus forcing her to make a trip to the kitchen. Thankfully her father was nowhere to be found.

"I've got it Jarvis," called Darcy as she reached the front door and looked through the peep hole. The sight of Coulson on the front porch made her cringe. "Son of a sewer whore, what's _he_ doing here?"

Jarvis apparently had examined the feed from the exterior cameras, because he actually answered her. "Agent Coulson has a meeting with your father this morning. Would you like me to let him in instead?"

"Hardly," snorted Darcy. "I'll deal with him. The last thing we need is someone like Coulson wondering around the mansion alone. He'd probably swipe all the iPod's in the whole house."

"Darcy?" questioned Jarvis, sounding uneasy.

Darcy just waved her hand in a dismissive way. "Sorry, old rift between Coulson and I. Seriously Jarvis, I've got this."

"As you wish," replied Jarvis.

Sighing, Darcy ran her fingers through her hair to push the unruly locks back, suddenly wishing she looked a little more presentable. Coulson made her uneasy, not because he was intimidating but because he could give you this look that made you feel like a kid who got their hand caught in the cookie jar even if you'd done nothing wrong. Hell, even Tony couldn't make her feel guilty with just a look.

Taking a deep breath and squashing the irritated anger that always seemed to accompany her dealings with Coulson, Darcy pulled open the door and was careful to adopt the same air of nonchalance that Tony always carried with him. It was harder to do when she was dressed in old clothing that didn't fit her right and was partially stole from Tony, but she made up for whatever she was lacking by leaning on the door frame and shooting the man before her a 'I have better things to do, what do you want?' look. "Hey Agent Coulson, what's shakin'?"

Coulson blinked at her, surprise crossing his features so fast that Darcy almost thought she might have imagined it. Almost. However, when he spoke, his voice was completely neutral. "Miss Lewis? What are you doing here?" There was a pause as he stared at her hard for a moment, before continuing as if he hadn't stopped. "This is a restricted area you know."

Darcy scowled slightly at Coulson, leaning casually on the doorway like she owned the place. Which, really, she partially did according to Tony. Her name was on the deed along with his. "I live here. What are you doing here?"

"I have an appointment with Mr. Stark," replied Coulson coolly, eying her grease-stained jeans and dirty tank-top. "Could you get him for me?"

Her scowl deepened, eyes narrowing some in Coulson's direction. She did _not_ like being treated like a secretary. An evil idea began to unwind in her head as she recalled the exact words she'd spoke to Tony just last night about her parentage causing other people mental trauma.

"Hey Jarvis, can you tell Dad that Agent Dickweed of the Jack-booted thugs is here to see him?" asked Darcy in her sweetest voice possible, turning into the house slightly to do so. She could see the gobsmacked look on Coulson's face perfectly. "He'll know who I'm talking about."

"Of course Miss Stark," assured Jarvis. Apparently Jarvis was a mind-reader because he managed to play along perfectly. "Oh, and Miss Potts wanted me to remind you that you're both scheduled for a mother-daughter lunch in two hours. She requests all grease and oil be removed from your skin as much as possible for the outing."

Darcy beamed, internally cackling as Coulson started choking on air. "Thanks for the reminder Jarvis. Tell Mom I'll be ready by then." Sweet smile still in place, Darcy turned to refocus on Coulson. "Anything else, Agent Dickweed?"

Coulson had apparently lost the ability to speak, so after a few seconds of his sputtering Darcy just shrugged and re-entered the house. "Hey Jarvis, lock the door when Coulson finishes having a heart-attack on the front porch."

"Of course Darcy," assured Jarvis, though his voice sounded a bit smug. "I will be happy to do so."

"Thanks!" called Darcy as she disappeared upstairs to shower. Keeping her mom waiting was never a good idea.


	4. Victims 3 & 4: Natasha and Jane

Victims 3 & 4: Natasha and Jane

Natasha stretched happily as she walked into the kitchen of Stark Mansion, feeling relaxed and limber from her previous workout. It wasn't often that she got to really beat the crap out of something like she had that morning going for several rounds with Steve. The man was difficult to hurt and the knowledge that she couldn't kill him easily meant that she didn't worry about holding back. There wasn't a point.

Coffee in hand, she made her way over to the counter and retrieved her cellphone from her pocket. It was almost 11, and she had arranged to have lunch with Pepper at noon. The female CEO was always fun to talk with, mostly because she had the most interesting stories from working with Tony. Still, the woman would also occasionally forget non-work related get-togethers so Natasha made it a point to call and remind the other woman of their plans.

"Hello?" asked Pepper, a large amount of noise seeming to echo from around her. It sounded as if she was walking down the street, though the noise mostly disappeared a moment later.

"Hello Miss Potts," greeted Natasha in her best assistant voice. It was a joke that started between them after Fury revealed that Natasha was one of his own sent to monitor Tony. "I was just calling to remind you that you have lunch scheduled in one hour with a Miss Romanov."

The sound of something, possibly Pepper's head, thudding against the something soft, likely the back seat of a chair or car, echoed through the phone along with a groan from Pepper. "Oh god Natasha, I completely forgot."

"As I thought you might," admitted Natasha. "You seemed distracted recently."

"A little," admitted the CEO. "Listen, I'm out with someone right now, so could we reschedule...actually, no. We can still have lunch but why don't you grab Jane as well? We can make it a girls lunch."

Something that sounded like a muttered 'really? Do we have to?' came from somewhere near where Pepper was, but Pepper offered no verbal reply. Apparently, she was out with another friend, though Natasha couldn't begin to guess who. Pepper hadn't mentioned a friend or any family coming to town.

"We can still have lunch if you would like," agreed Natasha. "Though if you need to reschedule-"

"No, this is fine," assured Pepper. "I'd like you both to meet someone. She's going to be living with us at the Mansion for the foreseeable future, so we may as well all meet for lunch. This way, both you and Jane can get to know her."

Natasha smiled a little. "Does this woman have a name?"

The voice said something which made Pepper do the suppressed giggle thing she sometimes did when Tony was being particularly ridiculous. There was a smile in Pepper's voice when she responded to Natasha. "My associate would like to wait and introduce herself, apparently. You'll have to learn her name when we gather for lunch."

"Alright," agreed Natasha, curiosity piqued. It was rare for anyone to successfully convince the CEO of Stark Industries to do something such as with-hold information from others. Especially in a way that implied messing with other people's heads, which was exactly what Natasha suspected Pepper's guest wanted to do. "I'll meet you at the restaurant at noon with Jane then."

"Wonderful, I'll see you both then." Pepper promptly hung up at that point, though Natasha thought she heard some laughter before the connection died.

Squinting at her phone in suspicion, the former Russian assassin stood to begin the potentially long process of finding and convincing Jane to leave her lab. Not for the first time, Natasha wished that Jane's former intern was still around. Apparently the woman had been successful more than once in convincing Jane to abandon her work in favor of other activities. Though Natasha would always wonder how anyone had achieved such a goal, and with apparent ease.

Sealing herself for the battle ahead, she headed for the rooms Jane and Thor shared first, hoping that the scientist would be there and possibly not be neck-deep in research-related reading. After all, Natasha really wanted to be on time for lunch. She was just dieing to know who Pepper's mystery associate was.

* * *

It turned out than dragging Jane out of the lab, where she was found nearly buried in data forms, was far easier than Natasha had thought it would be. It still took her nearly thirty minutes to convince the scientist to leave though, meaning that it was nearly ten minutes after twelve when Natasha and Jane stepped into the restaurant that Pepper had selected. It was a grill of sorts, almost like a sports bar in a way, but served significantly better food than most grills.

Upon entering, Natasha was quick to scan the room but found no sign of Pepper. At first, the assassin thought that perhaps Pepper had been delayed but a quick check of her phone showed no missed text messages or calls. She was about to call Pepper herself when Jane let out a surprised cry and darted into the restaurant. Confused, Natasha followed.

Jane made a bee-line straight for a dark-haired woman who was leaning back in a chair and waving at them. The younger woman was wrapped in a sweater and pair of jeans with vans on her feet and a pair of black-rimmed glasses on. Her chair touched the ground at Jane reached the table so she could stand and embrace the scientist.

"Oh my god, Darcy! What are you doing here?" asked Jane, wide eyed with excitement. Ah, so this was Darcy Lewis, the former intern. She wasn't quite what Natasha had pictured, looking less put together than would have been assumed but still rather pretty.

Then the name hit. Natasha raised her eyebrows and reexamined the woman as Jane stepped back and gestured to Natasha. "By the way, that's Natasha. She works for S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Nice to meet ya," offered Darcy, extending a hand towards the ex-assassin.

Natasha took it with a sly smile of her own. "I do not suppose you are the same Darcy who captured the attention of one Agent Clint Barton, are you?"

Darcy laughed a little. "Yeah, that's me."

Jane's eyes widened almost comically at the comment. "You slept with Agent Barton?"

"Yep," confirmed Darcy as she sat back down, attention flipping back to Jane. "So how'd you end up out here?"

"Well, um, first: we got Thor back," admitted Jane with a goofy smile as she dropped into a seat across from Darcy.

Darcy giggled herself and leaned forward. "I told you that you'd get him back. So? Did she sufficiently rock your world? Was he as spectacular elsewhere as he looks?"

"Darcy!" exclaimed Jane, lightly smacking the younger woman's arm. Darcy just laughed hard and pretended to defend herself. "Seriously though Darcy, I'm here because S.H.I.E.L.D. transferred my research out here. They've given me so much funding and resources, it's amazing what I've been able to do."

"That's awesome Jane," congratulated Darcy, having calmed down. "Seriously, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," accepted Jane as she looked Darcy over again. "So what brings you to New York?"

Darcy shrugged a little. "A job."

Jane grinned. "That's great Darcy. Who do you work for?"

"Stark Industries," replied Darcy with a grin. "I'm working with Tony and Pepper."

Jane's eyes widened, then narrowed and she was about to ask more questions when Pepper appeared at the table, cellphone in hand. "Oh good, you found us."

"Hello Pepper," greeted Natasha as the CEO took a seat beside Darcy. She was quick to take the one remaining seat beside Jane and across from Pepper. "So, should I assume that this is the young associate you wanted us to meet?"

"Yes, this is Darcy." Pepper looked over at Darcy with a almost proud smile. "Darcy, did you order me a glass of water?"

"Uh, no?" replied Darcy, brows furrowed. "I didn't know you wanted one."

Pepper frowned a little. "Didn't you get my text?"

"Oh, I turned my phone off," replied Darcy as she pulled a sleek Stark Phone out of her pocket and hit the power button to turn it back on.

"Why did you turn your phone off?" asked Pepper. "You know you're not supposed to do that unless necessary."

Darcy shrugged. "Dad kept calling."

Pepper's brows furrowed further. "So you turned off your cellphone?"

"Yeah," replied Darcy with a heavy sigh. "I so don't want to talk to him right now. Not after that BS he pulled this morning."

"Darcy," sighed Pepper, sounding as frustrated as the girl beside her. Natasha noted the similar mannerism. "He probably wants to apologize you know."

"So?" asked Darcy. "I'm not ready to forgive him yet. He can't just go off his rocker about who I choose to fuck. Its not his business and he's being a hypocrite to boot."

On the table, the phone started to buzz. Pepper didn't even look at the phone. "Take the call Darcy. He's your father and he loves you. All he wants is to protect you."

"Easy for you to say," muttered Darcy as she stood and snatched up the phone. "Fine, I'll talk to him." Her thumb brushed the accept button as she headed towards the doors to the restaurant. Her voice was unhappy and frustrated when she spoke again. "Hey Dad."

As they watched Darcy weave her way out of the restaurant, Natasha spoke up. "You've certainly become quite the mother hen."

Pepper just shrugged. "Between Tony and Darcy, I've had plenty of practice. Mediating one of their fights makes navigating the board room look like a cake walk."

Natasha's eyes shot to Pepper so fast, one might have thought they would fly from her head. "Tony? As in Tony Stark?"

"Yeah," sighed Pepper as she flagged down a waiter and asked for some water. She ordered an Irish coffee as well, then motioned for Natasha and Jane to order their drinks. Both woman chose water. When the waiter had left, Pepper continued. "Tony and Darcy blew up at each other this morning over Darcy expressing an interest in sleeping with Agent Barton again."

Thankfully none of the drinks had arrived yet because Natasha was pretty sure she would have choked on anything had see had one. Plus Jane probably would have knocked all their drinks over with the way she jumped. Apparently, Jane was as confused as Natasha.

"Why would Tony Stark care who Darcy sleeps with?" asked Jane, brow furrowed.

Pepper shrugged. "I'd imagine most fathers would care who their daughter's sleep with. Plus, the age difference is a little disconcerting."

Neither Jane nor Natasha had any reply to Pepper's comment. Both were too busy attempting to process what Pepper had just said to actually understand the second half of her comment. Natasha could really only stare at Pepper, attempting to figure out how she had missed such a key point.

Jane managed to regain her speech abilities first. "Darcy is Tony's...But I didn't, I mean no one ever said..."

"Who's her mother?" asked Natasha suddenly. Though it was a bit of a long shot, it was possible that Darcy lived with her mother. That would explain why Natasha never heard anything about this until now.

Pepper glanced at Natasha, her eyes having previously been focused on Darcy through the front windows of the restaurant. "I am. Legally that is. Her biological mother passed away years ago."

Well, that shot that theory to hell. Natasha shook her head. "I see. Who was she? I've never heard of Tony having been married."

"He wasn't," confirmed Pepper. "The woman's name was Nancy Foster. She'd been one of Tony's previous one-night stands."

Natasha glanced at Jane, noting the way the woman's face paled at Pepper's admission. Pepper, for her part, was too distracted keeping an eye on Darcy. The woman was waving one hand around angrily but her expression was far more exhausted than pissed at this point.

"Jane?" questioned Natasha curiously.

Jane blinked, then bit her lower lip, worrying it slowly before she spoke. "This woman, Nancy, where did she die?"

Pepper looked at Jane, suddenly turning her full attention to the conversation at hand. "Mainstand Hospital in Tucson, Arizona. Why?"

"Oh god," muttered Jane instead, her head dropping to rest on her hand. "I wonder if..."

Pepper and Natasha shared a worried look. Pepper opened her mouth to speak but Darcy came inside at that point, snapping her phone shut with a heavy sigh. Gracefully, like any Stark, she dropped back into her chair and rubbed the bridge of her nose heavily.

Thankfully, the drinks arrived before anyone could say another word, with Pepper slipping the Irish coffee in front of Darcy as soon as the waiter had left. Darcy raised an eyebrow at Pepper, who shrugged. "I don't approve of under-age drinking but as you pointed out this morning, you will be 21 in a month and I know how bad fighting with your father gets to you."

"Thanks," replied Darcy with a faint smile as she took a sip. "Oh, that's good."

Pepper chuckled a little and took a sip of her own water, noting the way that Jane was looking at Darcy uneasily. Darcy glanced up at the scientist, feeling the woman's eyes on her. "What's up Jane?"

Jane gulped and sat back a little. "Um, nothing. Nothing at all."

"Right," muttered Darcy as she leaned back in her chair and turned to Pepper. "Dad and I are good by the way. He apologized for being a hypocrite, though I'm assuming I can thank you for that."

Pepper smiled softly. "I might have pushed him a little after this morning. You should be aware though, if you do choose to continue sleeping with Agent Barton then your father will probably have a talk with him."

"Long as its not the 'birds and bees' talk," replied Darcy. "_That_ was horrifying enough the first time."

The faint smile that crossed Pepper's face was almost mischievous. "At least he didn't offer examples."

"Mom!" exclaimed Darcy, blushing even as she laughed. Natasha felt her brain short momentarily, still not finished processing Darcy's relationship to Pepper or Tony. "That would have been _beyond_ mortifying. That would have been just...wrong."

"Yes, but this is Tony we're talking about," reminded Pepper. "He has done worse."

Darcy laughed. "Yeah, Dad's done a lot worse. Did you really create the 'nudity allowed only in the bedrooms and bathrooms' rule because of that incident with the kitchen table?"

Pepper nodded. "It was bad enough I walked in on that. I didn't want you to."

"Thanks," agreed Darcy as she finally turned back to Jane and Natasha. Jane had stopped looking at her funny but still looked uncomfortable. Natasha was still trying to process the entire conversation.

The group fell to silence pretty easily, which is why everyone jumped when Natasha suddenly broke into laughter. Taking in all three wide-eyed faces, she just smirked and said: "Barton slept with you, the daughter of Tony Stark."

Darcy nodded slowly, not finding the humor yet. "Yes..."

Natasha continued to grin. "Come now, does no one else find the image of an over-protective Tony Stark lecturing Agent Barton on what will happen if he harms Darcy funny?"

As the image began to set in, laughter began to rise around the table. Even Darcy had to laugh at the image, though it was almost grudgingly. Pepper shot Natasha a grateful smile, which Natasha returned with a shake of her head.

Poor Clint, he was so screwed. And Natasha was going to enjoy every minute of it.


	5. Victim 5: Steve Rogers

**Okay, this is the last of the written part for this story at the moment. You guys will just have to wait for the rest now. I'll try to finish this one quickly and have updates on a few others within a few days (barring my prospectus taking over my life again).**

Victim 5: Steve

The building shook beneath Steve's feet as an explosion rocked the building. Steve grabbed onto the railing beside him, steadying himself. A floor below, he heard someone shout and the sound of running footsteps.

Without a second thought, Steve bolted down the stairwell and into the hallway below. He had to jump backwards when Tony went running by with Pepper hot on his heels, both looking almost panicked. Steve started after them, catching up just as Tony turned suddenly and practically jumped down a stairwell that Steve hadn't seen before. Pepper followed a bit slower due to her heels, but she was still moving faster than usual.

"Jarvis, I need access to Darcy's Workshop, immediately!" shouted Tony from the bottom of the stairwell as Steve followed them down.

Steve paused on the stairs, mind trying to place who Darcy was. There wasn't anyone by that name living in the Manor, at least not to Steve's knowledge and if someone had moved in he was pretty sure he would have noticed. His thoughts were interrupted, however, when smoke suddenly billowed into the hallway. Alarmed, he rushed towards where Pepper stood outside an open door. Smoke was bellowing out from the room beyond, but at least no flames were visible.

"Darcy! Darcy!" Tonya's shouts echoed out of the room beyond, sounding nearly frantic. He could hear his fellow Avenger clattering around inside and Steve didn't even think before he went running into the room as well.

A heavy layer of smoke made the whole room hazy and difficult to see in. The room was a cluttered mess, nearly identical to Tonya's own workshop. There were a few differences of course, such as the line of motorcycles that stood where Tonya's precious cars did and the placement of most of the furniture. Tools were scattered all over the floor, most likely from the explosion, and Steve nearly tripped on a wrench. The sound of a faint groan from Steve's right drew him in that direction. Apparently Tony heard it too because he could hear the other man stumbling through the rubble in the room towards the sound.

Coughing followed the groan which was followed by a moan. All three sounds came from under what looked like a blast shield that was laying flat on its back. Steve really didn't want to think about the kind of force that would be necessary to knock a blast shield over like that.

Hoisting what he was expecting to be a heavy sheet of reinforced steel, Steve found the structure far lighter than it should have been. He didn't dwell on the idea though and simply chucked the device away from him, kneeling to check on the person who had been under it.

A girl lay on her stomach, dark hair tangled and falling around her face. Her arms lay by her head like she had been covering herself when the blast occurred and Steve could see a myriad of small cuts covering her forearms. The shirt she wore was torn and her jeans looked to be in the same state. Grease was smudged over one of her cheeks and Steve could see a bruise forming on her forehead.

Tony, who had managed to find his way over, quickly dropped to check for a pulse. "Darce? C'mon kid wake up. Wake up for my sake, Pep will kill me if anything happens to you. She already blames me for your engineering interest. Please kid?"

Another groan came from the girl's mouth and Tony quickly turned her over to check her for injuries. The motion apparently was enough to draw her to consciousness, because dark blue eyes slide open to meet Tonya's own. "Dad? Did it work?"

"Did what work Darcy?" asked Tony curiously, even as he ran his hand along her skull looking for bumps. Steve was too floored to talk. Since when did Tony have a daughter?

"The metal sheet, is it still in once piece?" asked Darcy groggily. "Wow, my head hurts."

Tony snorted. "With you're thick skull I'm amazed that explosion did anything at all."

"Not as hard as yours," mumbled Darcy. "I think I have a concussion."

Steve couldn't help his outburst. "You can diagnose your own injuries?"

Both Darcy and Tony looked up at Steve, seeming to realize for the first time that he was even there. Tony looked a little sheepish and opened his mouth to say something, probably a snarky comment, but Darcy beat him to it. "Uh, have you ever _had_ a concussion Mr. American-Golden-Boy? They're kinda unmistakable."

"Darcy," groaned Tony as he moved to help the girl to stand.

She managed to get her feet under her but almost fell again immediately. Only Steve kept her from falling down on her ass again. "Wow, someone stop the tilt-o-whirl, I'd like to get off now please and thank you."

Steve raised his eyebrows at Tony and decided the shock of discovering that Tony Stark had managed to _successfully reproduce _must have driven him temporarily insane. Otherwise he never would have said the next words out of his mouth. "She just used the words please and thank you, properly I might add. Are you sure she's your daughter?"

"Blame Pepper for that," replied Tony as he threw one of the girl's arms over his shoulders and attempted to steer her out of the room. "Jarvis, I need the ventilation in Darcy's workshop upped to maximum power ASAP."

Immediately, the smoke began to clear as fans rumbled through the space. Darcy groaned and covered one of her ears sloppily. "Geez, turn down the music. It sounds like I'm against the speakers at a dubstep club."

Tony rolled his eyes and started to lead her towards the door but the girl stopped suddenly and tried to turn around. "Wait, my experiment! I wanna see if it worked."

"Darcy, we need to get you checked out," replied Tony firmly as he tried to turn the girl around again.

Noting Tonya's difficulty, Steve moved to scoop her up in his arms, eliminating her ability to fight. "Tony, can you grab whatever she's talking about? We can bring it up to the infirmary."

"If its not the size of a small house," muttered Tony as he turned back into the workshop while Steve stepped into the hall with Darcy in his arms.

Pepper nearly assaulted them, attempting to check Darcy over even as the girl waved her away with an insisted 'I'm fine, Mom!'. Steve nearly stumbled and dropped Darcy out of surprise but managed to maintain his forward momentum up the stairwell and all the way into the small medical suite that Tony had set up for them. The 'mom' and 'dad' comments were probably meant to be taken as sarcasm, such as when Tony calls Coulson 'mom' and refers to Fury as 'dad'.

Reassuring himself of this, Steve set Darcy on the bed in the room and backed out to call for the doctor Tony kept on staff. As soon as he gave Darcy's name, the man said he would be there in ten minutes. The doctor arrived in five and by then both Tony and Pepper were in the medical room with Darcy. Tony had a large sheet of metal with him and Darcy appeared to be examining it. The grin on her face indicated that she was very happy with what she saw.

When Steve re-entered with Dr. Mallard, both Pepper and Tony refused to leave. Darcy grumbled and complained that 'it's just a concussion, what's the big deal?' while Dr. Mallard glared at her in that disapproving way that got Tony to do what he needed the man to. Pepper and Tony were both shooting her similar looks, which seemed to work because she cooperated.

After Dr. Mallard had confirmed that 'yes, she does have a concussion' and that 'she just needs to rest and not blow anything up for at least two weeks', Pepper walked him out while Steve stayed behind with Tony. Clint slid in when Pepper and Dr. Mallard left.

He took one look at Darcy and whistled. "Geez Darcy, what did you do? Step on a land mine?"

Darcy snorted in response and took the spare pair of glasses Tony offered her. "For you're information, I have created uru."

All three men gave her a 'you created what?' expression that prompted her to continue with an eye-roll. Well, an attempted eye-roll seeing as how she winced halfway through and closed her eyes. "Its the metal that Thor's hammer is made from. I've been trying to figure out if I can recreate it and I think I've succeeded."

Tony nodded slowly, moving to sit on the bed next to Darcy. "So what was the explosion about? You nearly gave me a heart-attack. I thought I was gonna loose you."

"Geez Dad, sentimental much?" asked Darcy, though her voice held gratitude. "And the explosion was me testing how much pressure the metal could take. Apparently a directed explosion using a brick of C4 as the explosive isn't enough to even cause a scratch."

Pepper chose that moment to walk in, mouth falling open. "Darcy Tonya Potts-Stark-Lewis, where did you get C4 from!"

Steve found himself choking again as Darcy's full name sunk in. Apparently she was a Stark. And a Potts. The shock was completely to blame for the way he just blurted out his question. "You two had a child together?"

Pepper, Darcy, and Tony stopped arguing for a moment about C4 acquisitions and the house rules concerning high explosives (that rules concerning the use of high explosive even _existed_ in this house said a lot about their family) to blink at Steve. It took Tony a moment to piece it all together. "Right, I didn't tell you about that. Sorry Cap, this is Darcy Potts, aka Darcy Stark, aka Darcy Lewis. Yes, she's my daughter and yes, she's Pepper's too. No, Pepper and I didn't have a baby together."

Steve's brows furrowed as he looked between the two, then at Darcy. "Wait, then how are you _both_ her parents."

"Adoption," supplied Darcy and Tony simultaneously. Pepper nodded, confirming what they said.

Steve felt his mouth was hanging open again but couldn't seem to pick up his jaw. Clint looked a little better, though he still appeared dazed. Tony was apparently bored of the whole thing however, because he helped Darcy down and steered her out of the room. "Alright, I'm gonna put Miss Concussive Head Injury to bed. I'll see you guys later. Oh, and Steve, don't tell the others about Darcy yet. Thanks Cap!"

With that, Tony was out the door with Darcy which left Steve, Pepper, and Clint standing in the medical wing in silence. Pepper shook her head as she watched the other two leave, then stepped out herself with her phone in hand. Based on the beginning line of 'Senator Boswick, I apologize for my abrupt manner. There was a minor emergency-", Darcy's stunt had forced Pepper to drop a business call. Not that Steve was surprised or anything.

Beside him, Clint sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We are so fucked. With two Stark's blowing shit up in the mansion, there's never going to be any quiet time."

Steve nodded, but felt a smile tugging at his lips. "Yes, but at least nothing will ever be boring. Besides, Darcy seems to be good for Tony."

"True," admitted Clint with a chuckle. "Can you imagine how much of an insufferable ass he'd probably be if he didn't have Darce?"

"Yeah," sighed Steve as he exited the room. "I think the world should probably be grateful that Tony has some kind of a distraction. With his tendencies, without his daughter around I'm not sure I'd want to know the consequences."


	6. Victim 6: Thor

Victim 6: Thor

Steve dodged another swing of Thor's hammer, blocking a backwards strike with his shield. The force sent him backwards but his shield protected him from any actual damage. Thor grinned and laughed, resting his hammer on his shoulder. "Excellent form shield brother! I am honored to spar with you any day!"

From behind his shield, Steve stuck his head up a little, smiling. "I'm honored to fight by you too Thor."

Thor beamed and was about to comment when the door to the gym swung open and Darcy strode in, looking bored. "Hey boys, what's up?"

"Darcy!" exclaimed Steve, voice taking on a disapproving tone quickly. "Shouldn't you be in bed? Concussions are nothing to ignore."

Darcy shrugged and started towards a chair along the back wall. Her mouth opened to respond but she was stopped by Thor suddenly sweeping her up into a giant hug. "Lady Darcy! What a wonderful surprise to find you here!"

"Owwww," moaned Darcy as she pushed at Thor. "You gotta let me down big guy. My head is kinda shaky."

"Thor!" exclaimed Steve as the god looked at Darcy in confusion. "Put her down! She has a concussion!"

"A concussion?" questioned Thor. "What is this 'concussion'?"

"It's a head injury," groaned Darcy. "They're very painful, potentially fatal in the worst of circumstances, and I have one."

"Fatal!" exclaimed Thor, eyes going wide like a frightened puppy's.

Darcy groaned and pushed at Thor's arms again, finally getting him to relent his hold. "Yeah, sometimes. Mine isn't one of those, but my head still feels like a marching band decided to practice the brass section in my ear drums."

"A what?" asked Thor, who thankfully didn't look like he was going to drag her off to the medical wing any more.

"I'll explain later," offered Darcy as she dropped into a chair against the back wall. "When my head isn't so delicate."

Steve nodded his approval. "What are you doing down here anyway, Darcy?"

"Yes, what is your business lady Darcy?" quarried Thor. "You should not practice battle techniques when injured thus."

Darcy snorted. "I'm not here to practice my tazing skills, I'm here because my room is boring and the doctor won't let me sleep when I have a concussion 'cause he doesn't want me to die. So, I'm forced to seek out some form of entertainment to keep me awake. You guys seem as good as anything else, so here I am."

"What ever happened to reading a book or watching TV?" asked Steve unhappily.

"Can't read 'cause my head still hurts and there's nothing on TV," replied Darcy with a sigh. "Plus Dad took away my tablet so I can't even play games or design stuff."

Thor furrowed his brows. "You're father is present within the home of Tony Stark? This is a surprise."

Darcy snorted and seemed about to throw out a snarky comment when the doors to the gym suddenly flew open to reveal a worried Tony. "Darcy Tonya Potts-Stark-Lewis! What the hell are you doing out of your room!"

Thor's brow furrowed sharply as he looked between Darcy and Tony, curiosity written across his features. Beside him, Steve almost fell over while standing up, still floored by the idea that Tony had a child at all. Tony proceeded to rant at Darcy about something or another, with his hands flying around in a worried agitation that Thor was all too familiar with. His mother had displayed that same emotion more than once when either he or his brother had returned from an adventure injured. Or when they had worried her by disappearing as children.

Glancing between Darcy and Tony, it struck Thor rather suddenly how similar Darcy looked to the insane genius. Similar dark hair covered both their heads, with matching eyes and a similar facial build, though Darcy's features were finer. More similar to those of his lovely Jane really. Still, looking between his fellow shield brother and the young woman who had felled him when he first landed upon the Earth, Thor could see the parentage. There was really only one thing that didn't make a lot of sense to Thor.

"Warrior-brother Tony," called Thor, distracting Tony from his rant. The genius man blinked in confusion but appeared to be focused on Thor none the less, so the God continued. "Lady Darcy is your daughter, correct?"

Tony blinked harder, apparently momentarily lost in the conversation. "Yeah, why?"

Thor nodded. "If this is true, then why does she not bear your second name? Furthermore, why does she bear that of Lady Potts instead of your own?"

Tony seemed even more confused by Thor's question, his brow furrowing as he attempted to work out exactly where this conversation was going. Darcy, however, seemed to pick it up quicker. "Dad didn't want me to have his last name. Too much publicity. So he gave me Pepper's."

"You call your mother by her first name?" asked Steve, shocked. Apparently they didn't do that in his time.

"Sometimes," admitted Darcy with a shrug. "Depends on the situation. Dad and Mom tried to get me to call her 'Pepper' once when I was six. It didn't work."

"Darcy, we weren't trying to get you to call her Pepper, we wanted to make sure you knew that she was your adopted mom," explained Tony with a shake of his head. "Pep didn't want you to ever accuse us of lying to you."

Darcy rolled her eyes, cringing a little as she did and rubbing her forehead. "That's going to get annoying." Sighing, she looked up at Tony again. "Dad, I knew Mom wasn't my _birth mom._ The thing is, I didn't care. And I wouldn't have accused you guys of lying to me. It wasn't like you lied to my face about the circumstances."

"True," admitted Tony.

Thor, deciding to pull the conversation back on tract, cleared his throat. "To be certain then, Lady Darcy, you are the daughter of shield brother Tony and Lady Potts?"

Darcy nodded. "Basically. Pep isn't my biological mom, but she raised me so far as I'm concerned that counts."

"Ah, I understand now than," confirmed Thor with a grin. "Though I admit that the different second name still confuses me, your heritage is clear."

"Right..." muttered Darcy as Tony shook his head, finally rejoining the conversation.

"Yeah, anyway, Darcy, go back to bed," ordered Tony, though his voice was far less demanding than it previously had been. "I don't want to see you up again today."

Darcy sighed but trudged towards the door. "Fine, but I want my tablet back! I'm gonna die of boredom if I don't do _something_."

"Deal," agreed Tony as he ushered Darcy from the room.

When they had both gone, Steve turned to Thor with a raised eyebrow. "So, none of this surprises you?"

Thor shrugged. "I was not expecting Darcy to hold such a regal heritage, but it is inconsequential. Our brother-in-arms is clearly a devoted father who loves his daughter very much. Is this not what ultimately matters?"

Steve paused for a moment, considering Thor's words. The alien god might be a bit strange, but he was right. Tony clearly loved Darcy and, yeah, the idea that she had survived this long was surprising, but Pepper was involved too. Between the two, Steve guessed Darcy had probably been surrounded by love growing up, even if her life had probably been far too chaotic. "Yeah Thor, you're right. Come on, lets get back to training."

"With pleasure!" grinned Thor before he raised his hammer and drove at Captain America.

* * *

**So, yeah, I just couldn't see Thor getting upset over this. Surprised, sure, but not down-right shocked like everyone else. Being relatively new to Earth, he isn't gonna know Tony's reputation as well as everyone else does.**

**Anyway, next up is one more surprise and then we get to find out who knew all along. Any guesses?**


	7. Victim 7: Bruce Banner

Victim 7: Bruce Banner (The Hulk)

Bruce walked into the gym on shaky legs, his body still attempting to recover from his most recent accidental transformation. It happened when Tony blew something up in his lab, shaking the whole house and causing enough noise to startle Bruce, who had been in the gym meditating. There wasn't a meditation room set up for him yet, so he'd made due with the empty training space.

He couldn't remember much after that except Iron Man blasting him when he nearly crushed a dark-haired girl by mistake. He didn't know who she was, having never met her before, but he assumed she didn't live in the house. Maybe a Stark employee? Whoever the girl was, he at least knew she wasn't hurt. Tony had protected her, that much he could remember.

Looking around as he entered the gym in an attempt to figure out if anyone was injured during his rampage, Bruce found the rest of the Avengers plus Jane and sans Tony and Pepper standing in a group. Tony and Pepper were standing against the back wall, talking to a girl he recognized as the woman who he'd nearly crushed. She was sitting a chair, rubbing her head like it hurt, and looking like she was possibly being lectured. Based on the way Tony's arms were folded in front of him, scowl in place, and Pepper was rubbing her left temple with the other hand resting on her hip, that probably wasn't far from the truth.

Wondering over to the others, Bruce slipped quietly into the group. "What are Pepper and Tony doing?"

"Lecturing Darcy," replied Natasha with a shake of her head. "Stupid girl deserves it."

Clint snorted. "She was just trying to protect Pepper, 'Tasha. Give her a break."

"She broke safety protocols," pointed out Natasha with a scowl. "She could have been hurt or someone else could have been. We _have_ safety protocols for a reason."

Jane sighed and shook her head. "I'd like to say that she doesn't know the protocols yet, given she just arrived yesterday, but somehow I don't think that's the case."

"I don't understand," cut in Bruce. "Why are Pepper and Tony lecturing her if she broke safety protocols? Why not Agent Coulson or Director Fury? Or Steve?"

Steve shook his head. "It's not my business. Besides, Tony needed to do this himself."

"Why?" asked Bruce.

Clint just raised his hand. "Wait for it..."

"Mom, Dad, enough!" shouted the girl, Darcy, as she suddenly jumped up from her chair, though she almost fell over in the process and grabbed her head with one hand while clinging to her chair with the other. Something colorful probably fell from her mouth but it was said quietly enough that he couldn't pick out the exact words. Not that Bruce's brain was registering much. Or his hearing was screwed up. He could have sworn that Darcy just called Pepper and Tony, mom and dad...

"Look," continued Darcy, rubbing at her head and supporting herself on the back of her chair, "I'm not helpless! Yeah, that wasn't the best move I've ever made and trying to dodge the Hulk with a concussion wasn't bright, but I'm not just going to _sit by and let my parents get killed. _Not if I can help it!"

Pepper groaned, muttering something that no one could make out, but Tony cut in loudly. "No, you _will_ follow the safety protocols we put into place regardless of what Pepper and I are doing. Darce," sighing, Tony dropped his shoulders and said something to the girl in a normal tone, making it impossible to pick out the words.

Whatever he said, however, made Darcy's eyes narrow. She shot back something that probably wasn't very nice because Tony started to bristle again. Their conversation appeared to turn heated but nothing could actually be understood until Darcy said something that really pissed Tony off apparently. His shout of "Darcy Tonya Potts-Stark-Lewis, you _will_ do what I say! I'm your father, so listen to me!" nearly sent Bruce to the ground in shock. He had to be hearing things.

"Uh, did Tony just say he was..." started Bruce, looking to the others uneasily.

"Her father?" finished Steve with a sigh. "It surprised the rest of us too. Tony doesn't really seem like the fatherly type."

Thor shrugged. "My father, the All-Father, seems quite stern in his manner but he was a loving father regardless."

"Translation: appearances can be deceiving," stated Clint with a grin. "Sound's about right."

Natasha smirked a little. "We'll see how true you believe that to be when Tony lectures you concerning his daughter's well-fair."

That shut Clint up quick, which made Bruce wonder for all of two seconds what, exactly, the archer had done that could earn him a lecture from Iron Man before deciding he didn't want to know. Apparently, however, the others were more curious. Or less observant of the possible reasons Tony would be lecturing Clint.

"Wait, what did Clint do?" asked Steve with a furrowed brow. "We don't need inter-team fighting now. There was enough of that before."

Jane shook her head. "He slept with Darcy back in New Mexico, before he knew she was Tony's daughter."

"Slept with as in...sex?" confirmed Bruce uneasily, glancing at the small family across the room. Tony looked pissed but it was the type of pissed someone gets because they were scared, no t angry. The type of pissed a father might become if his daughter did something stupid like almost getting crushed by a monster.

"Yes," confirmed Natasha with a grin that made the men shiver. "And Darcy has expressed an interest in continuing such activities."

Of course, at this point Natasha was just having fun watching Clint squirm. The man was beginning to blush a little, though not as bad as Steve who had turned red. If it was with anger or embarrassment was hard to say.

The American hero opened his mouth for a moment, then snapped it closed only to try again. This time, there was sound. "Agent Barton, um, Clint, if you choose to, er..._participate_ in a personal relationship with Miss Stark, I need you to make sure there won't be any ramifications should things fail."

"Oh god," muttered Clint, who now really was beginning to blush. "That's it, I'm gone. Come get me when people decide to butt out of my sex life."

With that, Clint retreated from the room, leaving a laughing Natasha behind him. Bruce shook his head, still shocked about the various revelations which were slowly crawling to light that day. He was about to suggest they all leave to give the Stark-Potts family some privacy when Darcy snapped something at Tony and stormed out of the room. Tony moved to follow her, but Pepper grabbed his arm to stop him. Her look was admonishing when she said whatever it was she said, but Tony settled a little.

Slowly, Bruce was beginning to see how Darcy could have survived her childhood. He knew the stories about Tony Stark, everyone did save Thor and Steve. Stark was an egotistical ass with a narcissistic tendency and a carelessness about other people that seemed non-conducive to fatherhood. However, Pepper had the caring tendencies and social understanding to maintain the family bond between father and daughter. Though, when he thought about it, about how quickly Tony had stepped in front of Darcy when Hulk had cornered her and how angry Tony had seemed that Darcy almost died, he wondered if they really knew Tony at all.


	8. The One Who Knew

The One Who Knew

Fury tapped his fingers in irritation, listening to Coulson rant over the phone. The man almost sounded panicked about his little encounter at Stark Mansion. Well, panicked or furious. Secretly, he suspected it was a little of both. Coulson prided himself on knowing more than most and being significantly more observant than many people could claim. Thus, missing an important detail about someone, such as Tony Stark having a daughter, was going to rub him the wrong way.

"Agent Coulson, I suggest you forget about the encounter and keep this particular piece of information a secret," advised Fury as he glanced at the visitor sitting across from him. "If Mr. Stark does not want it publicly known that he has a daughter, we will not be responsible for telling the world. Am I clear?"

"Sir?" asked Coulson. "I wasn't suggesting we should reveal her existence. I'm concerned Stark may have other secrets that could prove dangerous to his position in the te-"

"That isn't a concern," assured Fury, using his 'drop this topic now' tone. "Now, please, have your report concerning your meeting with Mr. Stark on my desk by the end of the day. And include nothing about your encounter with Miss Stark in the report."

"Yes sir," sighed Coulson over the line before Fury hung up his desk phone. "I apologize for that, Miss. Potts."

Pepper smiled slightly and shrugged as she relaxed some in her chair. "You have other duties than speaking with me. I apologize if Darcy caused Agent Coulson any irreparable mental harm."

Fury shook his head and removed a tumbler from his desk along with a bottle of whiskey. He offered some to Pepper, who shook her head. "I have to meet Darcy for some mother-daughter time in an hour."

"How is Darcy?" asked Fury casually as he sipped at his tumbler.

Pepper shrugged. "She seems well enough. Tony informed me this morning that she hadn't slept in 66 hours by the time she got home last night. Apparently, she still has The Nightmare."

"I can understand that," admitted Fury. "It can't be easy to see her father fly off to save the world on a regular basis. Will she be staying in town or returning to school?"

"Staying in town for now," confirmed Pepper. "I think she wants to come work for Stark Industries for the time being. Political science was a nice break, but she is apparently ready to switch careers again. Well, according to Tony."

"Who could be exaggerating," agreed Fury. "Well, if she needs to talk with someone, she is welcome to come see me whenever she wants. I'll have her security clearance cleared. Perhaps she can assist us. I recall her chess skills are superb."

Pepper nodded. "She is a good tactician and it could help her feel a bit more useful. Right now, I'm inclined to believe her unease stems from her helpless position. I'll suggest it to her."

"Of course." Sighing, Fury rubbed his nose and glanced out the window next to his desk. "I must admit, Miss Potts, I don't know how you managed it. Helping raise Darcy as you did."

"Sedatives," confided Pepper with a smile that said she was probably joking but there was a possibility she wasn't too.

Fury smirked. "For who?"

"Me."

Her response drew a laugh from Fury as he turned toward the young CEO. "Well, whatever your secret, I wish you the best. Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you, or if there is anything I should know."

"Such as?" asked Pepper as she stood.

Fury stood as well, crossing his hands behind his back as he did. "She is living in a house with multiple men now. At least, they are supposed to be men."

"Mm," hummed Pepper. "That ship has already landed. Apparently, Agent Barton and Darcy had a bit of tryst in New Mexico."

Her words brought a frown to Fury's face. "Will this be an issue?"

Pepper shrugged. "Its hard to say, but I'll keep you up to date. If Tony starts to act out of hand, I'll deal with it."

"Just remember, he isn't allowed to hang people off the edge of the Empire State Building in his Iron Man suit anymore. Nor is he allowed anywhere near the Statue of Liberty with his suit unless its related to a mission."

"I know," assured Pepper. "And I'll remind Tony as well, but I think Darcy is the greater threat to Agent Barton."

Fury allowed a slow smile to spread over his face. "She is a rather...creative individual."

"Indeed," confirmed Pepper with a grin. "She's already threatened to invert Agent Barton's internal organs."

With a sigh, Fury escorted Pepper from his office. "Life in that Mansion is going to become more...interesting."

Pepper snorted slightly, an unlady like action that Fury wasn't surprised by. He'd spent the better part of the last 12 years interacting with the Stark-Potts family. Formality was something he only demanded of Tony at this point, more because it annoyed the man than anything else. "Interesting is an understatement, Nick."

"Most likely," agreed Fury with a smile as he opened the door. "It was a pleasure speaking with you, Miss. Potts."

"As with you, Director Fury. Thank you for taking the time to see me," thanked Pepper with a smile as Fury stepped out of his office to walk with her to the elevator banks.

Fury nodded. "Its always a pleasure working with Stark Industries."

Translation: he enjoyed working with Pepper and Darcy.

The secretive smile that crossed Pepper's lips told Fury she understood his statement. "If you require anything further, do not hesitate to call. I may send one of my associates to speak with you shortly concerning the open contracts we have with you."

Translation: Darcy might be picking up some of the shield contracts and she'll be by to see you with questions or just to visit.

"I'll alert my secretary to allow any Stark Industries personal to meet with me immediately," promised Fury. It had been a long time since he'd seen Darcy. Before she went off to college the first time long. "Please, have a pleasant day and I hope your remaining meetings go well."

Pepper smiled and stepped into the elevator that dinged before her. "As with you. I will keep you posted on any changes in our current situation."

Translation: If one of the Avengers fucks up or there is any interpersonal drama within the team, I'll call you.

"Thank you, I look forward to meeting with your associate and hope to speak with you soon."

Translation: Make sure Darcy comes to see me, its been too long.

"Of course, good day Director Fury."

"Good day, Miss Potts."


	9. Surrogate Family Bonding?

Epilogue

Most of the room looked up as Darcy entered, tablet in one hand and coffee cup in the other. The Avengers and associates who lived in Stark Mansion, save for Pepper and Tony who were busy with Stark Industries-related work, had gathered for an attempt at a movie or game night. Some form of entertainment that could allow for bonding. Darcy hadn't been seen since Tony and Pepper's lecture, which had lead everyone to assume she'd left with her parents. Apparently, she had other hiding places in the mansion than her room and workshop. They'd checked both of those.

Darcy's face was lit by the screen in the darkened room, brow slightly furrowed as her eyes darted around rapidly. Whatever was on the screen had her full attention because she didn't even acknowledge that anyone was in the room, much less looking at her. The cup in her other hand was set down as she passed a table, fingers flying over the tablet's screen as she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Well, that explains the random coffee cups around the house," commented Natasha with a face, eyes focused on the table and its lone cup.

Steve let out a small noise of agreement, eyes focused on the door Darcy had just disappeared through. His own brow was creased in concentration, as if he were weighing many solutions to a problem. Clint was staring at the door as well, though more with puppy eyes than concentration or concern. He'd been in a mood since that morning for reasons that no one really understood. This was the first point all day that he hadn't been really moping.

"Should we ask her to join us?" asked Bruce from where he sat near the end of the couch, watching the others. "She does live here after all, and is Tony's daughter. Maybe we should try to get to know her too?"

Natasha snorted elegantly. "Besides myself, Steven, and yourself, Bruce, everyone else here knows Darcy. Some of them quite well." The last bit was stated with a pointed look at Clint, who wasn't paying her any attention.

"She'll just sit down if she wants to join us," pointed out Clint absentmindedly. His eyes were still on the door, like he was hoping she'd come back out.

Jane shook her head. "If she thinks we're not interested in her company, she might not."

Thor nodded in agreement. "Yes, I do believe that many rules exist in this house concerning the respecting of the privacy of others, even when in group."

Steve shook his head. "There are also rules pertaining to the purchase and use of high explosives, where one can sleep naked, how much one is allowed to drink within an hour, workshop curfews, and what animals are not permitted in the house."

The group made a bit of a face at the last one, not really wanting to know _why_ Pepper felt the need to establish rules against keeping certain types of animals in the house. Just like no one wanted to know why there was a rule which expressly forbid tinkering in the kitchen and one that stated all the things food would not be used for within the kitchen. Last count, Jarvis admitted that there were nearly a hundred house rules, though most of them were inapplicable to anyone who wasn't Darcy or Tony. The 'no robot furniture in Darcy's room' was one of that long list.

"It's still her house," pointed out Natasha. "I think if she wishes to join us, she will. It's my experience that Stark's tend to do as they please, regardless of what anyone else wants them to do unless the request is made by Pepper."

"True," agreed Bruce, "but Darcy was also raised by Miss Potts, which I'm relatively certain is the only reason she survived her childhood."

"Actually, Tony isn't a bad father," commented Darcy idly as she stepped back into the living room, fresh cup of coffee in hand and eyes still glued to the tablet in her other one. "He was more protective than Pepper a lot of the time."

For a second, the Avengers all attempted to imagine a protective Tony Stark rather than the egotistical ass that he usually was. It was hard but when they considered how he acted towards Pepper, it became at least feasible.

Jane shook her head, rubbing slightly at her forehead and muttering something that no one probably wanted to actually hear. "Want to join us Darcy? We were just going to watch a movie."

"Sure," agreed Darcy as she wondered over to the couch and dropped into Clint's lap like it was her own personal seat. "What are we watching? Are there explosions?"

From the chair beside Clint, Steve choked a little. "Haven't you had enough excitement for one day?"

Darcy shrugged. "What can I say? Its been a slow day."

Everyone in the room stared at Darcy like she'd grown a second head. Or a third. She glanced both ways to make sure her coffee wasn't mutating her in some weird way but couldn't see any signs of a problem. Shrugging, she glanced at the others. "What? It was."

"Darcy," started Clint slowly, one of his hands settling on her waist. She promptly wrapped it around her waist instead and leaned back to look at him. "Today, alone, you've left six people in shock-"

"Seven," corrected Darcy with a shrug as she powered down the tablet. "Coulson stopped by earlier."

Natasha burst into laughter. "You surprised him as well?"

"He was being an ass so I may have rubbed my parents in his face," explained Darcy, careful to leave out Jarvis' hand in the matter. "Actually...hey Jarvis, is Agent Dickweed Coulson still on the porch?"

"No Darcy," assured Jarvis. "He left hours ago."

Darcy nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Good, that means I didn't kill a S.H.I.E.L.D agent today. Last thing I need is Nick on my ass." Looking back at the others, she offered a sly grin. "Coulson was being a dick earlier, so I dropped the bomb rather than wait for Nick to tell him."

"Nick?" asked Steve, head tilting to the side like a curious puppy.

"Er, Director Fury," corrected Darcy. "Sorry, I forget that you guys don't know him as Nick."

Behind Darcy, Clint groaned and pressed his face into her hair. "Just don't let him catch you calling him Nick."

"Why?" asked Darcy, twisting so she could look at Clint. "I've been calling him 'Nick' for years. He doesn't care."

"Right," snorted Clint.

Darcy shrugged and leaned back against him again. "Hey, its true. His daughter used to babysit me. I've known him since I was 8. He even offered me a full escort of guards for when I went to college."

Jane's eyes widened in shock. "Really?"

"Mhm," confirmed Darcy. "Though, I _was _only 16 at the time, so that might have had something to do with it."

"You were _16_ when you went to college?" choked Clint.

Darcy glanced at him again before focusing back on the rest of the room. "For my first degree, yeah."

"First...degree..." breathed Jane in some shock. "Darcy, you're only 20. How many degrees do you have?"

"Two," replied Darcy. "One in Mechanical Engineering and one in Political Science. I'm working on getting ones in physics, math, and architecture right now."

Even Bruce looked surprised. "All at once?"

Darcy nodded and stretched against Clint. "Yeah, it'll probably take two or three years." Grinning, she settled back into her archer pillow. "Its amazing how fast it is to get a degree when you don't have to take GE classes. Or can test out of most of the lower level classes."

"I'd imagine..." muttered Bruce, noting Clint's flinch.

"Anyway," continued Clint, trying his best not to think about how much smarter than him Darcy probably was, "today you managed to shock the hell out of 8 people, nearly blow yourself up, get into two major fights with your dad, and almost got trampled by big, pissed, and green." He paused in his list, looking at Bruce. "No offense Bruce."

Bruce just shrugged. "Its true."

In Clint's lap, Darcy just shrugged. "Like I said, slow day." The 'you're growing multiple heads' look was back. Again, she checked her shoulders but found no signs of mutated growth. "What? I grew up with _Tony Stark_."

"Point," sighed Jane.

Clint groaned out something along the lines of 'don't remind me' and everyone else just seemed to nod except Thor, who just looked confused. "What does our shield-brother have to do with this?"

Sighing, Darcy settled in as she attempted to explain to Thor _exactly_ why growing up with Tony had warped her sense of excitement. Everyone else listened with rapt attention as she spun her story, curious about exactly what his daughter saw. By the end of the night, everyone in the room had cried at least once, laughed so hard they'd nearly fallen off the furniture, and learned more about Tony, Pepper, and Darcy than they probably wanted to know. It was fun though, with pretty much everyone falling asleep in the living room by 3 am. Which is exactly how Pepper and Tony found everyone the next morning.

* * *

**And..done! Hope you guys liked this. If anyone is interested in seeing more of this series, let me know. I'll start posting the 'this is the insane story of Darcy's life' stuff I have that runs from her birth (when Pepper and Tony find out about her) and will probably end around the time this story begins. Thoughts?**


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